38 Weeks Pregnant Pictues

I'm in a HATE PHASE!!

Okay so I don't know what it is but I have begun to HATE everything and everyone! I need to get this baby out so I am a normal person again. What's that? How bad could it possibly be? Well let me make a little, no actually a long, very long list of everything that I am hating right now. I feel CRAZY!!

I HATE:

-the weather
-how it gets dark so early
-when my boobs leak and get that really uncomfortable tingle
-how maternity clothes still don't fit right
-when I pee only like 2 drops comes out
-seriously hate my fucking husband right now! ASSHOLE!!
-every 21 year old bitch that thinks she looks better than me
-how cold our house is and how we are too poor to be able to turn on the heater
-how I can't kick this cold that I've seriously had for over a month now
-how my daughter can't make up her mind and just come out already!
-there are so many things that I dislike about my son right now! He doesn't listen, he demands everything, he hits (with a fist), he jumps on my belly on my head on everything, he makes me cry because he says mean hateful things to me... etc etc
-Little Einsteins and Mickey Mouse Club House....I have watched the same ones over and over and over
-how fast the bath water cools off because of the fucking fan
-I can't paint my toe nails and yet no one offers to paint them for me
-how my boobs sag and rub on my belly....arrrr totally pisses me off!
-how my husband brought me pepperoni pizza and not cheese pizza
-how I cried because he brought me pepperoni and not cheese
-how my dog keeps fucking pissing in the house cause he won't go out in the rain
-how my fucking dog seems to think that my underwear are his fucking chew toys....arr
-the looks I get when I go into the labor and delivery now....it's like they are saying to themselves "she's back again"
-how my husband keeps leaving me home by myself with Tyler! Does he seriously expect me to chase him for 8 to 10 hours?

Oh the list could go on and on and on...but I'll stop before you all think that I am literally CRAZY!!

Merry Christmas

I hope that everyone had a GREAT Christmas. Poor Tyler was sick all Christmas Eve so he missed everything that night. He slept and slept and slept. He even slept on my lap at the table. We didn't get home til after midnight so the next morning was really hard waking Tyler up. I tried to get really excited told him that Santa had come but he was like "no, sleep". Oh well he finally got up and had so much fun opening gifts. I love what Christmas brings out in children. Thank god the morning perked him up enough for when we went to my dads he was in a really good mood and was really excited about opening more presents.
Wow, I love Christmas but I am so glad that it is over!

So F*cking Frusturated!

So Friday, Dec. 21st, I woke up at 1:00am with serious back pains. I got up and walked and rolled on a tennis ball all night off and on till my hubby finally got his ass up about 9ish. I hurried to the chiropractor and then I left and got an hour and a half massage. By the time I got out of my massage I was having serious labor pains and back pains to go with it. I got home and called Phil and told him to get his ass home. Tyler was staying at grandmas house. I had back labor and shed tons of tears all day long when labor and delivery told me that I wasn't in full labor. Fuck them. I think that when your contractions are 2 mins apart and lasting 1 min long that should be labor. I got in my dads hot tub and floated around for while and finally got her to turn around. After she turned I was still having contractions so we headed to labor and delivery but I guess since my back labor had stopped and she was out of my pelvis that made the rest slow down and eventually stop. When we got to labor and delivery they checked me, still 1, and then sent me home after about an hour of monitoring. Arrrr...will this please just be over with!

Dr. Appointment Update

Okay so I had a Dr. appointment this morning and this is what she said:

I'm still one centimeter but my cervix is soft. The babies head is really really low and I have lost my mucus plug. I'm due January 11th and I have appointments scheduled for Jan 3rd and Jan 10th but she doesn't think that I'll make it to either of them. She was upset that I had lost 3 pounds since my last check up but since I was sick and everything she could understand why. She told me no more weight loss and that I better be eating like 6-8 times a day small snacky meals. Easy for her to say since she isn't the one that has to make me food. How do I con my hubby to come home and make me food every couple of hours? I think I should probably hit up the grocery store first since we have like no food in the house right now! Maybe that is why I keep eating brownies for breakfast! There you go. That is the update.

Penis Obsessed

My son is obsessed with his PENIS! I am seriously at my wits end here. HELP! He pulls it out of his pants, pull up what ever he is wearing and plays with it. He runs all over the house playing with it until it is big and hard and then he likes to shake it around like he is so proud of it or something. I tell him it's not the time or place and he gets all mad and screams at me "my pee pee" "I play with pee pee. It's mine!" Then he runs around the house screaming "I play with pee pee". Is this normal? I want to say yes but I am seriously embarrassed when visitors come over and I can't get my sons hands out of his pants long enough to say hello.

HELP HELP HELP! The other day my sister and her family came over and Tyler was sticking his pee pee (penis) in my 1 year old nieces face. I was mortified but I didn't make any excuses for him. I kind of felt like I should have though. I think my brother in law was kind of getting upset with it, but what was I supposed to do? Should I have got all upset and put Tyler on time out? I feel like I yell at him all day long now to add one more thing to the fire just might drive me crazy!

Brownies For Breakfast

I have a problem. I could have made breakfast this morning but no the brownies that I made last night sitting on the stove were oh too tempting. Yeah so I ate almost half the dish. I'm shocked that I haven't gained like 80lbs this pregnancy. I want, I need , I crave chocolate. They were so yummy and now my hubby is complaining that they are almost gone. Oh well you snooze you loose when it comes to food or chocolate around a pregnant woman!

Faux Friends

I feel like I know so many people but when it comes to those really close friends I really feel like I am lacking. Is this my fault? I had one really good friend in high school and the rest of the time I floated from group to group. After me and that one really good friend had a huge falling out I've felt pretty lost ever since. So, I'll ask again....Is this all my own fault? I have gotten close to some moms that I know but I dunno, sometimes it's like we just don't click much more beyond being moms. It's like I am searching for a best friend and always coming out hurt or empty handed. Yeah I know poor poor me who cares. I wish I could just find someone like me. I'm a pretty simple person really and there has got to me someone out there. Shannon it's a shame you live so far! Can you post a want ad for a best friend? If you could here is what mine would say:

Searching for best friend! Married mother of two seeks other married mother to share time and secrets. Must be semi close in age, outgoing, honest and silly (as moms tend to be). I love to cook, bake, go on long hard walks, plan crafts and activities for my kids, sew, learn to scrapbook, refinish furniture and have a girls night out with drinking every once in awhile. Seeking someone with similar interests. I am a mom and wife first and foremost so I'm not looking for a party girl. Hope you are out there somewhere and that we meet soon. Patiently waiting.


I AM SO LAME!

Christmas Family Traditions!

Christmas and I have a love/ hate relationship. It seriously is such a stressful time cause of money and getting all your shopping done on time, but it also seems so magical once again after you have kids. It's now a family tradition that every year a week or two after Thanksgiving we go as a family and cut down a tree together. It is so much fun and it makes putting up the tree seem fun again since I have kids that oooohhhh and ahhhhh at it. It's funny how I really don't care about presents for myself anymore I just want to see my son open those couple of really special gifts from Santa, Mommy and Daddy and then beg to play with them right away. Every time that we open a door with chocolate behind it on our Christmas calendar Tyler gets so excited and his eyes light up. It's so wonderful.
Now how do I just cut out all the other family bullshit and really enjoy the holiday?

The Worst Mom EVER!

Sometimes I swear that I am the absolute worst mom ever. I don't remember being this way before I got pregnant so is it just my hormones? Is it just what my 2 year old brings out in me? Does he seriously just push me to my limit to where I crack? I have lost all my patience and I over react so fast. I feel like half the day I am yelling and scolding Tyler and putting him on time out and then the rest of the day I spend crying with regret for the way that I treated him. I hate yelling at him and yet I fell like I do it non stop. Who is this bitch? I don't like her! I only hope that it will go away after Addie is born. What if it doesn't? Am I going to be mean bitch mommy forever? I need counseling.

Sorry I've been sick

I think that this baby has it in for me. No seriously. The end of pregnancy is hard enough but I've been so sick on top of it all. I can only explain it has morning sickness but at the end. I am not the kind of person to cut my work hours or throw up my hands and say I'm done but "I'm done!". I'm also really really tired of these false alarms. I want her out out out! Today I am doing everything to get her out before Christmas. This morning I drank coffee. This afternoon I am going for a long hard walk. I'm going to be scarfing on a very spicy carnitas burrito for lunch or dinner and I already told my husband to pencil me in for some sex later tonight. Haha. I am so lame I know. She is so low in me and I can't remember the last time that I slept more than 1 hour straight at night.

Freaking out

I'm due in a month but it could really be any day and I'm seriously starting to freak out. The house is not clean. The babies room isn't done. I'm still working full time. I don't have my hospital bag packed. I haven't even had time to pre-register at the hospital yet. Am I seriously dragging ass? Yes, but I freaking tired! Why is everything always put on mom? It's not fair! I can't drink, can't sleep, can't eat as much as I want cause this baby is filling up my insides. I just want to sleep, take a long candle lit undisturbed bath, eat sushi and save up my energy to birth this baby. Call me crazy but soon there will be 2 and I'll have exactly no time for myself. Wish I could rely on my hubby to do the other important things but unfortunately I can't and I don't think he would even hear me shouting out requests over the tv and football.

My First Blog! Introductions

Okay here it goes....my first blog. My girlfriend Shannon has inspired me to attempt to create a blog but I make no promises on how wonderful or interesting it will be.
Now to introduce myself. My name is Murissa Ching. Don't be fooled I am not Asian I'm a white girl! I'm 24 almost 25, married to a sometimes wonderful husband, Phil and the mother to a little boy, Tyler (2 1/2) and a baby girl named Adelaide "Addie" who is on her way Due 1/11/08.
Life is crazy! Being a mom is crazy! I love it but it has got to be the hardest yet most rewarding things that I have ever taken on. How is it that a 2 year old can control your life and boss you around all day long and yet you are still considered the parent? I don't get it. Being pregnant is a love hate thing for me. I'm so moody, I'm still working 5 days a week at 4:15 am, yes you heard me right, and chasing my crazy toddler all day long. What have I gotten myself into? Am I supposed to ask for HELP or am I supposed to be able to manage all this with a smile on my face while serving dinner at 7pm sharp? I guess deep down I crave to be a mom in the 50's.
I love family with no strings, true friends, real mom friends (that don't sugar coat everything), romantic dinners (even though they are few and far between), when my kids smile, shopping, cooking, watching old movies that make you cry and laugh all at once. I inspire to be a better person everyday but hey I'm a work in progress.